When You Come to Realize What Matters Most

As I listen to my play list today, there are words and revelations I am beginning to realize. And so I grabbed my pen and begin writing.

Sharing my journal about how God reveals himself as a loving, merciful Father to me.

August 5, 2017

Saturday, 5:30 PM

I believe you are God my Father, a father who accepts me as I am, a loving father that forgives my sins and loves me unconditionally. I can’t imagine what my life will be if I am not found by you.

The time and moments that I am away from you are empty, I thought it is a happy time. I have someone beside me, I have the things I need, I feel I am complete with those people that love and cares for me but when they left me when the things I have can’t keep me happy I am wrecked and broken and empty. My heart searches for the right thing to do and then you came pursuing my heart again.

I am afraid because I felt guilty about the things I’ve done, but you kept walking beside me and showing me the right way and making me see that it’s only with you that I am complete! That I am loved and contented. And so, I gave my heart to you again and my life was never the same again.

You made me see that there is so much more to life than people than possessions than achievements. These are all dust in the wind because at the end of the day it’s what waiting in eternity that matters. And I found that in you, my Heavenly Father.

And right now my soul is clinging in your words, every promise, every plan, every opportunity is coming on the way, at the right time, in the right place, it will all fall into what you designed it to be!

So, here in your presence Father, I surrender, everything. My plans, my desires, my heart. I know I will always mess up! But I thank you that I’m a mess because that is where I experience your mercy and grace.

What matters most now is your presence in my life Heavenly Father, it is where I want to be the rest of my life. Because in you I found contentment and joy and peace that is unexplainable.

How about you? What matters most to you right now? I would love to hear it out?

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The Wallet

Since it’s valentines day, I am thinking of something I can write about love. I remembered this classic story I read when I was a high school student and was really moved that even until now it’s still one of the best love stories for me. So here it is. I hope it will inspire you too.

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The Wallet

It was a freezing day, a few years ago, when I stumbled upon a wallet in the street. There was no identification inside. Just three dollars, and a crumpled letter that looked as if it had been carried around for years.

The only thing legible on the torn envelope was the return address. I opened the letter and saw that it had been written in 1924 — almost 60 years ago. I read it carefully, hoping to find some clue to the identity of the wallet’s owner.
It was a “Dear John” letter. The writer, in a delicate script, told the recipient, whose name was Michael, that her mother forbade her to see him again. Nevertheless, she would always love him. It was signed Hannah.

It was a beautiful letter. But there was no way, beyond the name Michael, to identify the owner. Perhaps if I called information the operator could find the phone number for the address shown on the envelope.

“Operator, this is an unusual request. I’m trying to find the owner of a wallet I found. Is there any way you could tell me the phone number for an address that was on a letter in the wallet?” The operator gave me her supervisor, who said there was a phone listed at the address, but that she could not give me the number. However, she would call and explain the situation. Then, if the party wanted to talk, she would connect me. I waited a minute and she came back on the line. “I have a woman who will speak with you.”

I asked the woman if she knew a Hannah.
“Oh, of course! We bought this house from Hannah’s family thirty years ago.”

“Would you know where they could be located now?” I asked.

“Hannah had to place her mother in a nursing home years ago. Maybe the home could help you track down the daughter.”

The woman gave me the name of the nursing home. I called and found out that Hannah’s mother had died. The woman I spoke with gave me an address where she thought Hannah could be reached.I phoned. The woman who answered explained that Hannah herself was now living in a nursing home. She gave me the number. I called and was told, “Yes, Hannah is with us.” I asked if I could stop by to see her. It was almost 10 p.m. The director said Hannah might be asleep. “But if you want to take a chance, maybe she’s in the day room watching television.” The director and a guard greeted me at the door of the nursing home. We went up to the third floor and saw the nurse, who told us that Hannah was indeed watching TV.

We entered the day room. Hannah was a sweet, silver-haired old-timer with a warm smile and friendly eyes. I told her about finding the wallet and showed her the letter. The second she saw it, she took a deep breath. “Young man,” she said, “this letter was the last contact I had with Michael.” She looked away for a moment, then said pensively, “I loved him very much. But I was only sixteen and my mother felt I was too young. He was so handsome. You know, like Sean Connery, the actor.”

We both laughed. The director then left us alone. “Yes, Michael Goldstein was his name. If you find him, tell him I still think of him often. I never did marry,” she said, smiling through tears that welled up in her eyes. “I guess no one ever matched up to Michael…”

I thanked Hannah, said good-bye and took the elevator to the first floor. As I stood at the door, the guard asked, “Was the old lady able to help you?”

I told him she had given me a lead. “At least I have a last name. But I probably won’t pursue it further for a while.” I explained that I had spent almost the whole day trying to find the wallet’s owner.While we talked, I pulled out the brown-leather case with its red-lanyard lacing and showed it to the guard. He looked at it closely and said, “Hey, I’d know that anywhere. That’s Mr. Goldstein’s. He’s always losing it. I found it in the hall at least three times.”

“Who’s Mr. Goldstein?” I asked. “He’s one of the old-timers on the eighth floor. That’s Mike Goldstein’s wallet, for sure. He goes out for a walk quite often.”

I thanked the guard and ran back to the director’s office to tell him what the guard had said. He accompanied me to the eighth floor. I prayed that Mr. Goldstein would be up.

“I think he’s still in the day room,” the nurse said. “He likes to read at night…a darling old man.”

We went to the only room that had lights on, and there was a man reading a book. The director asked him if he had lost his wallet. Michael Goldstein looked up, felt his back pocket and then said, “Goodness, it is missing.”

“This kind gentleman found a wallet. Could it be yours?”

The second he saw it, he smiled with relief. “Yes,” he said, “that’s it. Must have dropped it this afternoon. I want to give you a reward.”

“Oh, no thank you,” I said. “But I have to tell you something. I read the letter in the hope of finding out who owned the wallet.”

The smile on his face disappeared. “You read that letter?”

“Not only did I read it, I think I know where Hannah is.”

He grew pale. “Hannah? You know where she is? How is she? Is she still as pretty as she was?” I hesitated.

“Please tell me!” Michael urged.

“She’s fine, and just as pretty as when you knew her.”

“Could you tell me where she is? I want to call her tomorrow.”

He grabbed my hand and said, “You know something? When that letter came, my life ended. I never married. I guess I’ve always loved her.”

“Michael,” I said. “Come with me.” The three of us took the elevator to the third floor. We walked toward the day room where Hannah was sitting, still watching TV. The director went over to her.

“Hannah,” he said softly. “Do you know this man?” Michael and I stood waiting in the doorway.

She adjusted her glasses, looked for a moment, but didn’t say a word.

“Hannah, it’s Michael. Michael Goldstein. Do you remember?”

“Michael? Michael? It’s you!”

He walked slowly to her side. She stood and they embraced. Then the two of them sat on a couch, held hands and started to talk. The director and I walked out, both of us crying.

“See how the good Lord works,” I said philosophically. “If it’s meant to be. It will be.” Three weeks later, I got a call from the director who asked, “Can you break away on Sunday to attend a wedding?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “Yup, Michael and Hannah are going to tie the knot!”

It was a lovely wedding, with all the people at the nursing home joining in the celebration. Hannah wore a beige dress and looked beautiful. Michael wore a dark blue suit and stood tall. The home gave them their own room, and if you ever wanted to see a 76-year-old bride and a 78-year old groom acting like two teenagers, you had to see this couple.

A perfect ending for a love affair that had lasted nearly 60 year

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No matter where you are in the world, If it’s God’s will for you to be married He always has a way.

 

A Battle

There is a battle raging inside of me. A battle sometimes I cannot comprehend, a battle of good and evil! Who’s gonna win? 

I want good to win but discouragement sometimes weighs more that doing the right thing?

Have you ever experienced that? Trying to be good and loving? But because of unexplainable situations even if you try so hard to make it be good, evil wins?

And you give up?!

But as this battle rages in my head, I can still hear a little small voice, a voice from the Supernatural telling me not to try so hard, it is not only me that fights in it but He is the warrior that’s backing me up. He knows what I feel. He feels I am tired trying. Tired fighting.

He asked if He could take charge of it. I was a bit hard headed and doubt. But as I look at His eyes, the eyes of love, the eyes of hope. That sparkling eyes that assure me it is okay. I give in, I gave my sword and let Him fight for me.

When my eyes are open and focused on Him, looking at Him fighting the battle with me, we are winning. But when I close my eyes and is distracted I am being lost.

Battles are won when we are with the great warrior. When we look at Him and trust Him that He will.

I am God’s Princess warrior and in Him, the battles raging in me will be won. No matter how evil it is, no matter I thought its hard. It will always be won, always be won!

Thanking God

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It’s almost the end of the year! 2016 had come to end and now we will bid goodbye and welcome the new year!

I know everybody is in different moods and feelings. Some are excited to welcome the year,others consider it as an ordinary day, maybe some are also disappointed with the things that are happening in their lives. So, is it possible to have a thankful heart as we welcome the year with all the hurtful feelings and maybe problems that arises? Or when we observe other people suffering? One of the books I read says, Thanking God is not only possible, but advisable.

We may not feel like thanking God in the midst of our suffering, and certainly we don’t want to thank God when disaster strikes someone. Thanking God when we hurt goes much deeper. Thanking God in our suffering means that we can thank Him for getting us through our suffering. But have we ever realized that through the years we have thoughened up. We can handle more pain, especially if it means helping to ease the pain of someone else.

As Winston Churchill once said in one of his shortest but powerful speech:

Never give in–never, never, never, never, in nothing great and small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

This end of the year, we may not know why certain things happened to us, but we don’t give up. We can thank God for never, ever abandoning us. The new year will come and when things get so bad that we don’t think we can bear it any longer, there is someone we can count on to help ease our burden. His name is Jesus, the one who suffered for us more than we will ever know. He is the one who makes our life possible.

Matthew 11: 28-30

Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give is light.

I believe God has made us to endure and overcome suffering.  Jesus promises to help carry our heavy load, that’s why this coming new year, we have many reasons to thank Him and hope in His name.

Happy New Year everyone! I pray that we will have a continuous attitude of thanksgiving no matter what.

 

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A Confident Heart

 

I believe it’s not an accident that you are reading this post. I want you to know that all your waiting time and maybe heartaches matter to God. And this is a letter I’ve read from a blog few years ago that blessed my heart. This is what I believe we ladies need to know. This is why my heart is confident to believe that God loves me and that He has in store great things for me. So here it goes…

To Every Godly Young Woman

To every girl who wants to be called “beautiful,” not “hot.”

To every girl that cries at night because of another heartbreak.

To every girl that just wants to hang out not make out.

To every girl that won’t give away her kisses to just anyone because she knows they really mean something.

To all those girls that want a boyfriend whose dedicated enough to keep God number one above her.

To every girl who just wishes her boyfriend cared more & gave up hope a long time ago for something better.

To every girl who would just once want a guy to give their jacket up when they are cold.

To every girl who just wants him to call.

To every girl who lies awake at night thinking about him

To every girl that is SCARED to put her heart out there again because she has been stupid enough to give her heart away to every guy she sees and watched them take it & step on it.

To every girl who knows what it’s like to show how much she cares and gets nothing back

To every girl that believes in her dreams.

To every girl that’s willing to give everything over to God so that through Him she can achieve those dreams.

To every girl that doesn’t want a guy who just plays with her emotions but actually cares about how she feels.

To every girl that gave her heart away to have it shoved back in her face.

To every girl that’s searching to have a godly boyfriend that loves God with all His heart.

A boyfriend who wants a Proverbs 31 woman and will respect her for who God made her to be and not try to change her.

Someone who she can share everything with…the good, the bad…& everything in-between.

A guy who really loves her, not only as his girlfriend but as a best friend!

A boyfriend who really CARES about what she has to say and what she thinks, not just about how she looks in tight clothes.

A guy who looks at her heart and sees her…a beautiful creation in Christ…and will cherish her as Christ cherishes the church.

Someone who won’t leave her for someone that’s easy and fast, but a guy who’ll stay with her to the end.

I think all girls can relate….

I pray that we would wait for what God has in store for us! There’s a guy out there…God’s working on his heart as He is of yours (& if He’s not, you should really be thinking about “why not?”).

But until you meet that godly gentleman, give your whole heart to God, all your fears & ambitions…let Him smooth out those rough spots!

My youth pastor is awesome. He said, “The world today shows you what they say is ‘love’ but it isn’t really. There’s no commitment!”

So until you get married, commit yourself to Christ.

Let Him show you, true love, & what real dedication means.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, Thank you for loving me even at my worst. When the time comes that its hard for me to believe your promises help me to make my faith bigger and believe and be confident that you know what’s best for me. From now on I trust you that you have a wonderful plan for my life and you make everything work together for my good. Amen.

Rekindling a Dead Dream

I used to have a lot of dreams even when I was small. Like, the simple dream of a young girl to have a beautiful doll house and many dolls. And, it’s a dream come true when one time my mom bought it for me as a gift.

Then, I grew bigger and my dreams of having all the beautiful toys in the world faded and had changed into dreams that are more focused about my future, like to finish my college degree, pass my board exam and have a good job. Along the way I dreamed to travel around the world and visit beautiful places. I also dreamed to have my own family, to be married and have kids. Then, came dreams that are more meaningful for me, like, volunteering to help people in need. And, looking back, I have failed in some areas, but I am thankful that I fulfilled most of them.

Suddenly, I became so contented with my life and the busyness of my schedule had stopped me from dreaming. I almost forget what my dreams are and even forget to dream anymore. Maybe because at some point in my life I let my dreams be burried under discouragement, past mistakes and failures. Reflecting on this, I  felt that I am missing my life. I became so satisfied with the ordinary and with the things I have now.

Thinking about my dead dreams, I came to read an article from one of my favorite speaker Joel Osteen. He said,

It’s never too late to rekindle your passions and dreams. Life often wears you down to forget to be happy about your existence. The best thing to do to prevent yourself from wearing down to mediocre person is to trust in Jesus our Lord and Savior. Dreams never die unless you die. As long as you’re breathing and as long as you still have it, it’s never too late.

So, today, I am choosing to rekindle my dead dreams. I want to dream higher and bigger and dream more! Not to settle for less but for the best. I remember one of my favorite verses in Jeremiah 29:11 that God has a plan for me. To prosper me and not to harm me. To give me hope and a future. I will keep that in my heart and make my dreams alive once more.

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More than Makeup, Jewelries and Choosing an Outfit

(Taken from my new Women’s Devotional Bible; applied it using my own experiences.)

Like many women, each morning I wake up, pour myself a cup of hot chocolate (because now I don’t drink coffee :)), take a shower and then get ready to meet the world. I pick out an outfit (since I don’t have uniform yet), do my hair and put some powder and lipstick. Finally, I add my favorite jewelry. Voila! I think I’m ready to meet the day.

The care involved in my routines always begs these questions: How much time do I spend getting ready spiritually each morning? Do I ask God to guide me during my day? Do I intentionally read the scriptures, meditate or pray so that I can be more patient, kind and loving with all the people I deal with the rest of the day? Especially that I’m a teacher, I really needed much patient to deal with my students, who have different behaviors and attitudes. Sometimes, I am more conscious on my time because I am more worried of getting late since I travel an hour before reaching my workplace.

We all hear this phrase: Caring for our outward appearance is not wrong…as long as we don’t neglect focusing on our inner thoughts and attitudes too. In Jeremiah 2:32, Jeremiah noted that women are unlikely to forget their accessories, but we are prone of forgetting God. In the midst of our busy lives, God often gets pushed to the bottom of our-to-do-list. But if we just know the truth, that spiritual growth happens from the inside out.

Hope we can try this: Tomorrow as we shower, let us praise God for the cleansing that Jesus’ forgiveness provides. As we’re getting dressed, thank God for clothing us with Christ’s righteousness. When we pour on our moisturizer, ask God to soften our hearts to His leading throughout the day. As we put on our makeup, thank Him for being the foundation of our lives. For those wearing glasses or contacts (like me👀) let us ask God to give us eyes to see his workings in the world. And as we put on our earrings, thank Him for beautifying our lives with the fruits of the spirit.

Who knows? After talking to God throughout the morning, we might not even need hot chocolate nor caffeine!

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