Mission Possible

My heart is full of joy when I was called to go on a short term mission trip last March. I never expected to be called after I tried to apply and waited for ten months. But God is indeed good and has perfect time for everything.

I met my team who will go to Jordan. We were all excited and a bit worried on how we can raised our funds. We need to pray hard really and asked for mission partners to support us financially. This has been a great challenged for me because I really don’t have that spark of faith to believe it can be possible. But who am I to limit God’s power? So I’ve listed possible names of people who I know and believe has the heart for mission and can support me. And indeed, I am just in awe of how God blessed their lives and heart! I was able to raised the amount needed!

I remember the day I really prayed hard and fasted because I only have 27 percent of the amount and in two days we should have completed the 50 percent of the amount. And just that day supports are really coming! I received messages telling me that they have sent their supports and to count it all it’s more than 50 percent! How is that possible for two days?! God is really the God who says He is. I have learned to fully trust Him that He will finish what He started.

(Jordan STM Team. Love these peps.)

In the middle of this I really trust God that He will give me the favor even at work since I am a public school teacher it will be harder to get out of the country. But I’m glad it worked because the scheduled date was our summer vacation. God is good indeed.

Waiting for our visas was really a work of prayer because we did not received any news yet whether it is approved or not. But we hoped and prayed that God is in control. The day came when we met together with the team and we knew then that our visas were refused. It breaks our heart; my heart actually! I believed and prayed for this but the reason why God allowed it to happen was oddly. I questioned God and when I was crying during my prayer time He comforted me and led me to this verse in Job 42:2 “I know that you can do all things. And that no purpose of you can be thwarted.” He can do all things, maybe for the things that I expected Him to do but didn’t do it is heart breaking. But this time I trusted God’s sovereignty over all things.

So, what to do next if the expected events of life happens this way? The anticipation of serving him was closed? But “when God closes a door, He opens something new! You only need to believe!” When God puts a desire in you heart, and that desire is for His glory, I believe He won’t stop. So, in the midst of my discouragement, God opens an opportunity for me to serve in a 5 day Youth Camp. Wow! This was an answered prayer for me and I believe one way of God to comfort me. And I’m overwhelmed! During the camp I thought I will just be there to serve and give support. But during the days of the camp I ended up so full and blessed! How God uses the youth to remind me how God worked in my life even at a young age. How God can use this generation to change this nation for God’s glory to be seen. He met me! He let me experience His power again! It’s overwhelming!

God never stops there, he opens opportunity for another camp. This time at my local church. I am amazed that when God works he works equally. I believe the message about the power of revival during the first camp was the same message during the second camp I attended. There are also new youth who were baptized that time. God is so amazing! I can never limit the God I am serving. Romans 8:28 says that for those who love God, all things work together for good. And He indeed worked it all for good.

I may not be able to go to Jordan this time. But God opens many doors for me to go on a mission and serve the youth. I was given the opportunity to share my story and encourage and pray for them. I got to use my time to spend it with my relatives, my friends and my family here in the province whom I never spend longer days since I worked in the city. I am humbled and thankful to God and to all the people He used to let me feel that He is an awesome God!

We really never need to go out of the country to be on a mission because wherever God placed us, that is our mission field. And that is I believe Mission Possible!

(The youths during Praise and Worship. Full of passion and energy praising the King of Kings!)

(One of the team which I served as their counselor. Blessed with their lives.)

(The youths after their morning walk. Praying for their dreams and desires on top of the hill!)

(Youths praying for each other. Love this scene)

(One of their team building games. So fun to see them like these!😄)

(Five out of thirty youth declared their faith through Baptism. Praise God!)

(Missed the youths! Remembered the time I served in the Youth ministry and just blessed to encouraged them this time.)

(Got to spend my time with some of my cousins and pamangkins!)

(A wonderful time to meet old but treasured friends.)

(Blessed to spend longer days with my fam. This was the day of my brother’s grad)

P.S. Our Short Term Mission Team was rescheduled. I am praying for an opportunity if God allows me to still go to Jordan or to another country. Trusting God for this.

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Creeping Within

You have heard the cry of my heart

You know the pain I felt within me

You know and counted the endless tears I cried

All of these loneliness are not hidden before you

Realization struck my head

Living on this planet

Is not easy as floating on the water

Many pains, heartache that had come upon me

And I came to the truth

This hurt inside out

Times are running so slow

Even if I wanted it to be running so fast

Still, It’s a test of time

My heart is breaking and I dont know what to do

How to made this fade away

The battle still rage inside of me

But a glimpse of hope that I will not be alone

Many times in this battle that’s creeping within

Someone is fighting for me

He gives me strength and hope

And so, life is so much more

When I see and have it with Him

Life battle is on the road

But this will not only be me

This battle of loneliness

Will not be fought only by me

But you oh Lord will be fighting with me!

And I know I will conquer

*A Poem written on April 25, 2013 @Jakarta, Indonesia

Lesson from Molds

You know what molds are? Those fungi or stains either black or white that can grow indoors. It can be on walls or cabinets. It is tiny but they grow together so they form big stains.

Last week I noticed some molds growing on my wall inside my room. It is color white and I think they are growing very fast that I can’t tolerate looking at it because the hair on my skin rises every time I saw them! It’s really unpleasant to my sight.

I even search on google what it is and find out that they are molds, stains or fungi. It grows on damp buildings. I don’t know where it is really coming from because I just moved from this house last August and I think it is renovated so it should be better. But I also found out that the ventilation of the house is not good that is why these fungi are appearing!

So, this afternoon I tried to get rid of them! I thought they are only growing on my walls. But when I started pulling my bed and cleaning it I found out that my bed was also infected and getting closer to the wall, I can see small spots of molds growing! eeeewww! It is really disgusting! It’s almost all over the room!

I wanted to call my mom to help me clean! I’m not good at cleaning bacterias like these. But I don’t have any choice but do it. I tried spraying them with insects pest and applying a chalk-like powder on every part of the wall. I hope they will really last and will really kill these fungi around. And be completely gone!

While I’m doing this, God let me realized that even if I thought my life is doing well, like when you see the house it’s clean on the outside but when you look at it closely at every corner you can see bacterias all over. Just like me, I have these molds in my life too that only Jesus can see. Stains of sin, stains of fear, stains of pride, stains of selfishness and many other things that I thought it’s not seen by people. But in Jesus’ eyes, they are seen clearly. It’s awful! I am unclean. I need His hands to wash every stain that needs to be out of my life. And God promised in Psalm 51:2 That He will wash me clean from my guilt and purify me from my sin. (reword from me)

I always thought that when I have my quiet time with the Lord, I go to church and serve him I am doing well, but to look closely at my life I really messed up many times. I don’t notice that molds of sin are growing. It is only by Jesus grace and mercy that can clean me and make me worthy of His sight.

I thank God for the molds! I thank God for the molds on my life because of this I learned to be humble and acknowledge that it’s only by Him that I am made clean! Completely clean!

When You Come to Realize What Matters Most

As I listen to my play list today, there are words and revelations I am beginning to realize. And so I grabbed my pen and begin writing.

Sharing my journal about how God reveals himself as a loving, merciful Father to me.

August 5, 2017

Saturday, 5:30 PM

I believe you are God my Father, a father who accepts me as I am, a loving father that forgives my sins and loves me unconditionally. I can’t imagine what my life will be if I am not found by you.

The time and moments that I am away from you are empty, I thought it is a happy time. I have someone beside me, I have the things I need, I feel I am complete with those people that love and cares for me but when they left me when the things I have can’t keep me happy I am wrecked and broken and empty. My heart searches for the right thing to do and then you came pursuing my heart again.

I am afraid because I felt guilty about the things I’ve done, but you kept walking beside me and showing me the right way and making me see that it’s only with you that I am complete! That I am loved and contented. And so, I gave my heart to you again and my life was never the same again.

You made me see that there is so much more to life than people than possessions than achievements. These are all dust in the wind because at the end of the day it’s what waiting in eternity that matters. And I found that in you, my Heavenly Father.

And right now my soul is clinging in your words, every promise, every plan, every opportunity is coming on the way, at the right time, in the right place, it will all fall into what you designed it to be!

So, here in your presence Father, I surrender, everything. My plans, my desires, my heart. I know I will always mess up! But I thank you that I’m a mess because that is where I experience your mercy and grace.

What matters most now is your presence in my life Heavenly Father, it is where I want to be the rest of my life. Because in you I found contentment and joy and peace that is unexplainable.

How about you? What matters most to you right now? I would love to hear it out?

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The Wallet

Since it’s valentines day, I am thinking of something I can write about love. I remembered this classic story I read when I was a high school student and was really moved that even until now it’s still one of the best love stories for me. So here it is. I hope it will inspire you too.

Image result for quote about the wallet love story

 

The Wallet

It was a freezing day, a few years ago, when I stumbled upon a wallet in the street. There was no identification inside. Just three dollars, and a crumpled letter that looked as if it had been carried around for years.

The only thing legible on the torn envelope was the return address. I opened the letter and saw that it had been written in 1924 — almost 60 years ago. I read it carefully, hoping to find some clue to the identity of the wallet’s owner.
It was a “Dear John” letter. The writer, in a delicate script, told the recipient, whose name was Michael, that her mother forbade her to see him again. Nevertheless, she would always love him. It was signed Hannah.

It was a beautiful letter. But there was no way, beyond the name Michael, to identify the owner. Perhaps if I called information the operator could find the phone number for the address shown on the envelope.

“Operator, this is an unusual request. I’m trying to find the owner of a wallet I found. Is there any way you could tell me the phone number for an address that was on a letter in the wallet?” The operator gave me her supervisor, who said there was a phone listed at the address, but that she could not give me the number. However, she would call and explain the situation. Then, if the party wanted to talk, she would connect me. I waited a minute and she came back on the line. “I have a woman who will speak with you.”

I asked the woman if she knew a Hannah.
“Oh, of course! We bought this house from Hannah’s family thirty years ago.”

“Would you know where they could be located now?” I asked.

“Hannah had to place her mother in a nursing home years ago. Maybe the home could help you track down the daughter.”

The woman gave me the name of the nursing home. I called and found out that Hannah’s mother had died. The woman I spoke with gave me an address where she thought Hannah could be reached.I phoned. The woman who answered explained that Hannah herself was now living in a nursing home. She gave me the number. I called and was told, “Yes, Hannah is with us.” I asked if I could stop by to see her. It was almost 10 p.m. The director said Hannah might be asleep. “But if you want to take a chance, maybe she’s in the day room watching television.” The director and a guard greeted me at the door of the nursing home. We went up to the third floor and saw the nurse, who told us that Hannah was indeed watching TV.

We entered the day room. Hannah was a sweet, silver-haired old-timer with a warm smile and friendly eyes. I told her about finding the wallet and showed her the letter. The second she saw it, she took a deep breath. “Young man,” she said, “this letter was the last contact I had with Michael.” She looked away for a moment, then said pensively, “I loved him very much. But I was only sixteen and my mother felt I was too young. He was so handsome. You know, like Sean Connery, the actor.”

We both laughed. The director then left us alone. “Yes, Michael Goldstein was his name. If you find him, tell him I still think of him often. I never did marry,” she said, smiling through tears that welled up in her eyes. “I guess no one ever matched up to Michael…”

I thanked Hannah, said good-bye and took the elevator to the first floor. As I stood at the door, the guard asked, “Was the old lady able to help you?”

I told him she had given me a lead. “At least I have a last name. But I probably won’t pursue it further for a while.” I explained that I had spent almost the whole day trying to find the wallet’s owner.While we talked, I pulled out the brown-leather case with its red-lanyard lacing and showed it to the guard. He looked at it closely and said, “Hey, I’d know that anywhere. That’s Mr. Goldstein’s. He’s always losing it. I found it in the hall at least three times.”

“Who’s Mr. Goldstein?” I asked. “He’s one of the old-timers on the eighth floor. That’s Mike Goldstein’s wallet, for sure. He goes out for a walk quite often.”

I thanked the guard and ran back to the director’s office to tell him what the guard had said. He accompanied me to the eighth floor. I prayed that Mr. Goldstein would be up.

“I think he’s still in the day room,” the nurse said. “He likes to read at night…a darling old man.”

We went to the only room that had lights on, and there was a man reading a book. The director asked him if he had lost his wallet. Michael Goldstein looked up, felt his back pocket and then said, “Goodness, it is missing.”

“This kind gentleman found a wallet. Could it be yours?”

The second he saw it, he smiled with relief. “Yes,” he said, “that’s it. Must have dropped it this afternoon. I want to give you a reward.”

“Oh, no thank you,” I said. “But I have to tell you something. I read the letter in the hope of finding out who owned the wallet.”

The smile on his face disappeared. “You read that letter?”

“Not only did I read it, I think I know where Hannah is.”

He grew pale. “Hannah? You know where she is? How is she? Is she still as pretty as she was?” I hesitated.

“Please tell me!” Michael urged.

“She’s fine, and just as pretty as when you knew her.”

“Could you tell me where she is? I want to call her tomorrow.”

He grabbed my hand and said, “You know something? When that letter came, my life ended. I never married. I guess I’ve always loved her.”

“Michael,” I said. “Come with me.” The three of us took the elevator to the third floor. We walked toward the day room where Hannah was sitting, still watching TV. The director went over to her.

“Hannah,” he said softly. “Do you know this man?” Michael and I stood waiting in the doorway.

She adjusted her glasses, looked for a moment, but didn’t say a word.

“Hannah, it’s Michael. Michael Goldstein. Do you remember?”

“Michael? Michael? It’s you!”

He walked slowly to her side. She stood and they embraced. Then the two of them sat on a couch, held hands and started to talk. The director and I walked out, both of us crying.

“See how the good Lord works,” I said philosophically. “If it’s meant to be. It will be.” Three weeks later, I got a call from the director who asked, “Can you break away on Sunday to attend a wedding?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “Yup, Michael and Hannah are going to tie the knot!”

It was a lovely wedding, with all the people at the nursing home joining in the celebration. Hannah wore a beige dress and looked beautiful. Michael wore a dark blue suit and stood tall. The home gave them their own room, and if you ever wanted to see a 76-year-old bride and a 78-year old groom acting like two teenagers, you had to see this couple.

A perfect ending for a love affair that had lasted nearly 60 year

Image result for old man and woman holding hands

No matter where you are in the world, If it’s God’s will for you to be married He always has a way.

 

A Battle

There is a battle raging inside of me. A battle sometimes I cannot comprehend, a battle of good and evil! Who’s gonna win? 

I want good to win but discouragement sometimes weighs more that doing the right thing?

Have you ever experienced that? Trying to be good and loving? But because of unexplainable situations even if you try so hard to make it be good, evil wins?

And you give up?!

But as this battle rages in my head, I can still hear a little small voice, a voice from the Supernatural telling me not to try so hard, it is not only me that fights in it but He is the warrior that’s backing me up. He knows what I feel. He feels I am tired trying. Tired fighting.

He asked if He could take charge of it. I was a bit hard headed and doubt. But as I look at His eyes, the eyes of love, the eyes of hope. That sparkling eyes that assure me it is okay. I give in, I gave my sword and let Him fight for me.

When my eyes are open and focused on Him, looking at Him fighting the battle with me, we are winning. But when I close my eyes and is distracted I am being lost.

Battles are won when we are with the great warrior. When we look at Him and trust Him that He will.

I am God’s Princess warrior and in Him, the battles raging in me will be won. No matter how evil it is, no matter I thought its hard. It will always be won, always be won!

Thanking God

new-years-fireworks

It’s almost the end of the year! 2016 had come to end and now we will bid goodbye and welcome the new year!

I know everybody is in different moods and feelings. Some are excited to welcome the year,others consider it as an ordinary day, maybe some are also disappointed with the things that are happening in their lives. So, is it possible to have a thankful heart as we welcome the year with all the hurtful feelings and maybe problems that arises? Or when we observe other people suffering? One of the books I read says, Thanking God is not only possible, but advisable.

We may not feel like thanking God in the midst of our suffering, and certainly we don’t want to thank God when disaster strikes someone. Thanking God when we hurt goes much deeper. Thanking God in our suffering means that we can thank Him for getting us through our suffering. But have we ever realized that through the years we have thoughened up. We can handle more pain, especially if it means helping to ease the pain of someone else.

As Winston Churchill once said in one of his shortest but powerful speech:

Never give in–never, never, never, never, in nothing great and small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

This end of the year, we may not know why certain things happened to us, but we don’t give up. We can thank God for never, ever abandoning us. The new year will come and when things get so bad that we don’t think we can bear it any longer, there is someone we can count on to help ease our burden. His name is Jesus, the one who suffered for us more than we will ever know. He is the one who makes our life possible.

Matthew 11: 28-30

Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give is light.

I believe God has made us to endure and overcome suffering.  Jesus promises to help carry our heavy load, that’s why this coming new year, we have many reasons to thank Him and hope in His name.

Happy New Year everyone! I pray that we will have a continuous attitude of thanksgiving no matter what.